Cramped into a small corner with stools lining the alcove, we sat and waited for our tropical rum inspired drinks. The sky boomed above us as rain and thunder danced on the ceiling, a mockery to natureās true power.
I was stuck to Allison again, two hyperactive hot spring monkeys, amped by booze. Not stuck stuck, just trapped against the wall in our little corner of the tropics.
āSo how do you find meaning in your life?ā, I asked her.
āThatās what Iām trying to figure out right now. I feel like Iāve grown roots here now. I have a stable job, a relationship and friends. But like, my brain still isnāt comfortable.ā
My mind wandered as it does when intoxicated. āLately Iāve just been trying to find the joy in the little things."
"What do you mean?"
"Like thereās stuff I stress about, mostly to find a partner right now and sometimes it leaks, like I project. Before when Iād see a couple on the street I might get jealous but now I try to think, āOh how lovely, itās young loveā. Or seeing a child in a stroller and thinking about how exciting their future is rather than the bleakness of the world they might grow up in."
"Thatās a good way to think about things. I still get anxiety sometimes even though my life is stable. Like Iām always wondering whatās next, I feel like I have to be working towards something. Thatās why I picked up power lifting, because the goals are more concrete.ā She reminded me of something I had read recently.
Apparently, when humans have free time, they tend to stress over the past and future instead of focusing on the present.
Thunder crashed again as drums started. A volcano was erupting, in the literal sense. A waiter was bringing around a bowl of molten alcohol and āHappy Birthdayā coursed through the room. I sang (slurred) along to the song and watched with bleary eyes.
I turned to Andy in that dark and stormy room.
āDude, you just have to go talk to someone.ā All night I was trying to get him to fulfill his mission.
āNaaaaah"
"Alright, letās make a bet. You have to talk to at least one stranger tonight."
"Ehā¦ Naaaah"
"Dude why are we even out here then? Honestly, you gotta start somewhere. Like go talk to her!"
"Hmmmm nah, sheās not it."
"Oh my godā
I shimmied my way out of our alcove towards the bathroom. As I walked back towards our corner, I decided I had to show him up.
āSo whose birthday is it?"
"Itās Sophieās!!!"
"Oh my god!! Happy birthday Sophieā
But that little comment just reminded me of all the messages Iād sent to strangers online. All those little comments and quips that amount to sweet nothings. But itās a starting point. A point to see the world as a brighter place. Just to talk to people, to hear their loves and woes. Iām the main character in my own story but so are they. And their lives are just as rich as mine, filled with hopes and dreams, wants and desires. And to crack open just a little bit of thatā¦ that might just be the meaning of life.