Living with My Parents

7 Nov 2022

I was finishing up my last quarter at UC Irvine when the pandemic hit in March of 2020. I came back to campus after spring break, but many other students (rightfully) decided not to return, including my roommates. For two months, I lived alone in my apartment. That was some of the loneliest two months of my life. I was confined in a 1000 sq ft box, slowly losing my mind. I could go for days without saying a word or hearing a human voice. Eventually, my roommates and I eventually agreed to break our lease.

I moved home, back in with my parents. I was hoping to avoid this situation entirely, but sometimes a global pandemic comes along and ruins all your plans. It’s now 2022 and I’m still here.

I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents growing up. There was a fair amount of rebellion and disagreement throughout my time as a juvenile. I’m just going to leave it at that. But living at home now has helped to slowly mend our relationship.

I see my parents everyday, I talk to them everyday. In the last year, I’ve grown pretty close with my dad. With my mother in Taiwan, it was just the two of us at home last year.

I like talking to my parents. Eastern culture usually dictates an authoritative relationship between parent and child, but now that I’m grown and make my own cash, that’s mostly disappeared. Our relationship is closer to being friends now.

I still depend on my parents. I don’t pay rent. I drive my moms car. I eat the food they cook. My dependencies are all simple things that any people cohabiting would likely have as well.

It’s not that I don’t have the means to move out. The thought of moving out and exploring life my 20’s has been consistently sitting in the back of my mind for the last year or so. But I also know that moving out is an inevitable eventuality and that I should treasure the time I have left with mom and dad.

I read an interesting tweet from hn on the time left we have with our parents. In summary, the average lifespan is ~80 years. If you only see your parents once a year, you’ll only see them ‘x’ (for me this is 20) more times before they die. So I’m not in a huge hurry to leave. I want to treasure the time I spend with them now, and hopefully, I can look back fondly later in life knowing I was able to mend our relationship before their deaths.